2025 is officially out of the starting gate, and already, it has fallen flat on its face.
Sadly, only three hours into the new year, a pick up truck with an Isis flag slammed into a crowd of partiers in New Orleans’ famous Bourban Street, killing 12 and injuring three dozen more. Hours later, a Tesla truck exploded outside of the Trump Tower in Las Vegas, though at this time, it seems unclear if it was a random event or something more nefarious.
I hope this isn’t an indication how 2025 will go, but it seems each year, in the Annual Meeting of Years, the upcoming and intoxicated new year steps up and vows to outdo the preceding year. (The previous sentence made a lot more sense in my head.)
Anyway, not to be outdone by anyone else on the planet, I have decided to make some predictions about 2025. Now not too brag, but I made some pretty accurate predictions in the previous year that would make Nostradamus proud (though admittedly my secret is that anyone with a simple appreciation of parody could do the same).
1) MSNBC will openly admit to their 13 viewers that they really hoped the New Orleans terrorist was a Caucasian male named “Bubba” who was flying a Confederate flag out of the back of his Ford pick up truck.
2) President Biden will take a moment from sabotaging the incoming President to issue a firm statement for Congress to pass “common sense” gun laws in response to the *check notes* terrorist act in New Orleans.
3) On January 20, Democrats, who for the previous four years used every undemocratic tactic available to bring down Trump, will lament that democracy has come to an end.
4) The new Democratic minority in Congress who loudly threatened to end the filibuster, pack the Supreme Court, and push for statehood for Washington, D.C., and Puerto Rico to gain progressive senators—all in order to pass unpopular legislation—will now openly push the new Republican majority to play fair and not move the goal posts.
5) Many progressive churches, who water down scripture to appear more relevant to the culture, will close their doors after suddenly realizing much of the nation shifted to the right.
6) Hollywood will continue to produce woke movies all the while trying to understand why their movies continually flop (they likely will continue to blame Covid). And in the same vein …
7) Many actors in Hollywood will realize that to truly take on the edgy, rebel look to distinguish themelves as outsiders will have to claim they’re conservative, Christian, and actually have a moral compass.
8) Many who will flee the United States after Trump becomes president will immediately realize: no one cares.
9) The media, after much soul searching following the 2024 election, will catch a new strain of Trump Derangement System, thus continuing their spiral into irrelevance.
10) Within days of Tom Homan becoming the new Border Czar, the media will air story after story about weeping migrants being deported (there will also be a new Pulitzer category for the journalist who can include a weeping Hispanic child).
11) Democrats will still proclaim the end of democracy while trying to silence those who disagree with the leftist mantras.
12) DEI (Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion) will be proclaimed officially dead (at least until it can figure out another way to repackage itself).
13) The Department of Education will be shut down, and America will once again rise to be number one in education.
14) Woke leaders in the Pentagon, FBI, Secret Service, etc., will realize—though continuing to deny—that the nation thinks they’re idiots and really are an embarrassment. Shortly after this realization, they will be fired.
15) The nation will continue to believe the media lies to them, and the media will continue to believe they matter.
16) A highly classified memo will be leaked by someone at MSNBC, identifying that a bullet point instructing the media to claim all right-leaning thought as a “Fox News talking point” is, in fact, an MSNBC talking point.
17) There will be statues erected and minstrals sung to the heroes who gun down such oppressors as Healthcare CEOs, and grade school children at Christian Schools. (Many will try to mask their glee by saying that they “condemn all political violence, but…”)
18) The millions who were told they will die if Trump gets elected will be astonished to find out they are, in fact, still alive.
19) RFK , Jr., will mandate that all new prescription drugs will be tested on Anthony Fauci. (Note: this one is not mine. The Babylon Bee came up with this gem on their 2025 predictions, and I couldn’t resist including it!)
20) Surprised that incoming president Donald Trump won’t be building concentration camps for journalists, journalists, who believe they must do their jobs as victims, are expected to build their own.
21) The Democratic Party will start maneuvering Kamala Harris into another run in 2028, to which the Republicans will collectively utter: “ Please do.”
There are a lot more predictions. Have a happy, blessed 2025!
Be First to Comment