Second assassination attempt today on a former president in about two months. Here’s a list of probable media responses:
1) Forget about by Tuesday
2) Downplay it by Monday
3) Question if it was real bullets from a real gun
4) Blame Trump for being so divisive, thus bringing it on himself
5) Link Trump to white supremacy, thus bringing it on himself
6) Make calls for toning down the heated rhetoric, especially that coming from that white fascist who is an existential threat to democracy and therefore must be stopped
7) Remind us that Kamala wants to heal our land
8) Publish a statement from the Harris Campaign that will read, “We condemn all violence. Vice President Harris grew up in a middle class family and loves the smell of cut grass. She understands what people are going through. Oh, and she doesn’t want to ban guns, except for the guns she wants to ban, but she believes in the 2nd Amendment with the exception of the guns most Americans own because her values haven’t changed. And did we mention that she understands the plight of the American people. And…who got shot at again?”
9) Write a Pulitzer worthy scoop about how the shooter used the word “trump” in a high school essay and is thus a Trump supporter and thus a white supremacist.
10) If the shooter turns out to be a liberal, refer to number 8 above as quickly as possible.
I wish this wasn’t funny, but the collective has made a parody of themselves.
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