It’s been years since the start of this journey.
But then the years became months.
The months became weeks.
The weeks, days.
And now it is only hours until the release of Losers Like Us.
I am well aware that countless others have published before me, but this is my first publication. I have been antsy the last few days: anxious, jittery, full of anticipation, beating my head against the wall until it is all soft and squishy. Like a kid on Christmas Eve, I am tired but too excited to sleep.
Last night, my mind raced with thoughts about what could—or will—happen next. There is no possible way to know, but that doesn’t stop my imagination from conceiving of a slew of “what-if” scenarios.
But then I realized that this whole thing is not about me. I was reminded of this truth by the words of my home community leader, words tattooed on her arm no less: “We are trees in the story of the forest.” She writes about this statement on her blog, Among the Evergreens.
“We are trees in the story of the forest.”
No matter what tomorrow brings – good, bad, or ugly – I am not the main character of the Story. I am not the protagonist. I am not the hero. The Story is not about me, but God.
I pray I never lose sight of that. Further…
I pray that God uses the imperfect words of this finite and flawed nobody to speak truth into the stories of others. I pray that from this book he speaks into their brokenness.
I pray God saves me from me. From my inflatable ego. From my tongue. From my future bad decisions. I pray I never try to be something I am not. I pray he silences my mouth when it should stay silent, and opens it when he wants me to speak.
I pray that if the release is met with the chirps of crickets in the corner that I won’t place my value in the responses of others but solely in God.
I pray that I will always be thankful. Truly thankful.
After that prayer, I drifted to sleep.
And I woke this morning to a beautiful new day.
And those prayers are still on my heart.
Friends, forgive my rambling words. Please continue to lift up this loser in prayer.
To God be the glory. Amen.